Monkey Business: The Skeletons In My Own Closet
This dirty mudslinging that seems to happen at the end of every political race is very disheartening. i'm a political person, as you know. And i can't say i wouldn't consider ever running for office someday. The thought has crossed my mind. But i don't know that my own past would not come back to haunt me.
It's interesting, i was listening to a local morning radio talk show, and the host was discussing Rush Limbaugh's pill scandal. After expressing sympathy for Rush, the host then admitted, quite openly, that he was once addicted to cocaine. It struck me that one talk show host could freely admit to his past drug problem without any fear of backlash, while another talk show host's career is in jeopardy because of the same alleged problem.
i think the difference is in the cover-up. Everyone has skeletons in their closet, but trying to hide them is what gets you in trouble. When you hide your past indiscretions, you are trying to keep the public from knowing the real you, because the real you might be somewhat different from what you would like the public to believe. When the truth comes out, it's more damaging because people call you a hypocrite, and worse.
Recently i read over at
Desert Cat's blog: "It used to be said that 'hypocrisy is the tribute that vice pays to virtue'. Now it seems with some people that the only true sin is hypocrisy itself." i totally agree. In today's secular culture, people will forgive anything, except hypocrisy. That may be why some liberals get away with stuff that would get a conservative canned. Conservatives are more vulnerable to the charge of hypocrisy because we tend to make a bigger deal about living by certain standards of behavior.
In politics, i think the best thing to do is let everybody know what's in your closet before you jump into the ring. Then the controversy happens on your timetable, not that of your enemies. You gotta give people a chance to be outraged, then get over it. An example: Cruz Bustamonte used the N-word a few years ago, there was some outrage, and now nobody even mentions it. (Admittedly, that's a poor example because one reason it's not mentioned is the liberal media's bias in favor of Bustamonte. You can bet that if Fatso had been a Republican he'd have been forced into retirement long ago.)
If Arnold's groping had been an issue years ago it would have been no big deal today. There would have been less destructive value for the
L.A. Times to publicize the charges five days before the election. The surprise factor would be gone. Another example: Marion Barry spent six months in prison for smoking crack, and when he got out he was promptly re-elected as mayor of D.C. People got over their outrage.
Anyways, the point i'm leading up to is this. If i ever run for office, say thirty years from now, i don't want people coming out of the woodwork saying annika did this and annika did that. So today, i will disclose publicly, in this here blog, all of my skeletons in order to diffuse any potential future scandals of my own. Be outraged now, so when you see my name on the ballot in 2033, you will have forgiven me.
Below i will mention some of the people who's careers have been threatened by various scandals. Then i will address whether i have anything to disclose regarding the alleged conduct. Most of the time, as you will see, i'm in the clear, since i've tried to live a relatively pure and clean life. *cough* But my record is not totally spotless.
Jimmy Carter: Sure, i've lusted in my heart, who hasn't?
Gary Hart: i engaged in some "monkey business" on board a boat with my ex-boyfriend Colby, back when we were together. Longtime visitors to my blog might remember that story.
Marion Barry: Although i have been in a hotel room many times, there's no way i would ever smoke crack.
Rob Lowe: i've never knowingly been videotaped in the throes of passion. (i sure hope no one has surreptitiously taped me.) And i'm fairly certain i have never been involved in any underage/overage sex. No threesomes either.
Bill Clinton / Dan Quayle: there's no more draft to dodge, i'm a girl anyway, and Vietnam was over before i was born. So i'm okay there.
Bill Clinton: i too experimented with marijuana, but it was a lot more than "once or twice" and i always made it a point to inhale deeply.
Bill Clinton / Monica Lewinsky: i've been naughty at work too (again with Colby), but only after hours. And i never saved any of my dresses.
Bill Clinton: You might be shocked to hear that i have been known to lie. However, i've never lied under oath, since i've never testified under oath. (i should correct that negative pregnant: If i
were to ever testify under oath, i definitely would tell the truth.)
Al Gore: i, annika, have been to a Buddhist temple. Or it might have been a Hindu temple. i can't remember. In either case, i'm unaware of any money changing hands while i was there.
Hugh Grant: i've been naughty in a car too, but only with my boyfriend, and always free of charge.
Pee Wee Herman: I've watched porno movies on video, but i kept my pants on the whole time.
George Michael: i've never done anything lewd in a park. No. Never in a park.
George W. Bush / Dick Cheney: Once i was pulled over for drunk driving after a cop saw me driving the wrong way on a one way street. He did a field sobriety test, but since i had only had one beer, i passed and he let me go. That was embarrassing though.
Vanessa Williams / Dr. Laura: i know that there are some very risqué pictures of me and my roommate sunbathing during our 2002 Jamaican trip. They were taken by some guys we met at our resort. i wouldn't be surprised to see them posted on the internet if i ever decide to run for office.
Winona Ryder: i think i tried to steal something once, when i was five. My Mom saw me and got real mad at me too. She yelled a lot and made me put it back. i never tried doing that again.
Bill Bennett: i'm not a big gambler, but every time i go to Vegas, i put $20 down at a roulette table and promptly lose it. i played blackjack once for about an hour and a half and broke even. i never lost $9,000,000.00, though.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: i'm proud to say i've never groped anyone. Well, i did squeeze a guy's tush once, but it was sooo cute and he liked it anyway.
Rush Limbaugh: i'm strictly an over-the-counter pain medication person.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: i never thought Hitler was a good guy. Although i'm half German, my Dad's family has been living in the U.S. since before Kaiser Wilhelm II, so we can't be blamed for participating on the wrong side of either World War.
As you can see, i have been a relatively good girl with respect to the type of scandals that have plagued many public figures over the last 25 years or so. As for my naughty behavior, i don't think any of it is too shocking by today's standards. Hopefully by making these truthful disclosures, if i ever do run for some sort of public office, i will be sufficiently insulated from the politics of personal destruction enough for me to practice it on my opponent with impunity.
Skanky Bayatch seems to be safe from 
